Comfort may be comfortable, but it’s also stagnant. Do you feel embarrassed, fearful, resentful, or something else? Then ask yourself, “What information is this feeling trying to give me?” and “What is the lesson this feeling is trying to teach me?” Pay close attention to the feelings that come up for you after you get kicked. Focus on where you ultimately want your career to end up, not the detour it may have taken. The spike in pain will eventually yield worthwhile lessons and changes. A kick is just a momentary speed bump on your longer leadership career. Here are some quick tips for ensuring that you’re ready to benefit from whatever kicks you may next endure: As the saying goes, “If you don’t learn the lesson, you have to repeat the class.” When that kick comes, and it happens to all of us, how do you learn and grow from it? Because here is one fundamental truth about a butt kick: if you refuse to learn the lessons it can provide, a harder and more painful kick is sure to follow. Paying attention only to the shiny parts of your leadership causes your shadow to grow, practically ensuring a kick in the saltshaker. Every leader is made up of sunshine and shadows. Likewise, the strength of confidence can slip over into the weakness of arrogance. The strength of drive can give way to dominance, which can become the weakness of intimidation. To be fully developed as a leader, you need to go further.Įvery leader needs to be keenly aware that strengths can become overly potent, sometimes toxically so. And while it is true that every leader should develop and nurture his or her unique gifts and talents, this is not where development should end. The leader who has great interpersonal skills may place too much emphasis on subjective criteria when making decisions. And the leader who is a gifted critical thinker may become overly critical of others. The leader who is comfortable speaking in public may turn into an attention hog always seeking the limelight. Past a certain point, our strengths start to cast a shadow. But too much of a good thing is often a very bad thing. As the great motivational theorist Abraham Maslow said, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.” It makes good sense: put yourself in situations where your gifts and talents can be put to good use, and you’ll increase the likelihood of being successful. The usefulness of the strength-based approach explains its popularity. Research suggests that you’re better off building on your natural strengths and talents than trying to improve your weaknesses. There’s been a lot written about “strength-based” development approaches in recent years.
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